


What sprung from hate

by ColorfulStabwound



Series: Drarry Dump [12]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drarry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-08
Updated: 2011-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:35:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2167698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulStabwound/pseuds/ColorfulStabwound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco's Diary</p>
            </blockquote>





	What sprung from hate

The first time we met we were children. The only thing I ever really wanted was his acceptance, and he denied me.  I hated him then, in a way that only a child of eleven can formulate his feelings.  It was jealousy, but it would be years before I was able to recognize it for what it was.  I just wanted to be better than him, but I couldn’t even be his equal. I’ve been told all my life that I am special, I am not special.  He was special and he didn’t even have to work for it.

As time passed I no longer wanted his friendship, my childhood annoyance became my adolescent rival. Everything I did had a purpose, an ulterior motive.  I still hated him in that childish way, only with slightly more malice than before. I was always waiting for an opportunity to best him; sadly they rarely were gifted to me. Everyone adored him; even the people closest to me secretly admired him.  I’d heard stories about him all my life; I secretly wished he’d never been born. 

As we got older my adolescent rival turned into my one true enemy.  I knew hate well by this time, and it bore his face, his name, his existence.  By that time I was no longer my own person, but no matter how hard my strings were being pulled one thing always remained..My hate.  The night he nearly killed me put little into perspective except the realization that I would never win.  I secretly wished I’d never been born.

We neared adulthood and the dawning of a war that would rip our world in two.  He stood on one side, I on the other, just as it has always been.   It didn’t matter if I believed what I stood up for or not, it was only important that I was not on  _his_  side.  I always knew he would prevail, it has after all, been the shadow on my entire existence since I was eleven years old; possibly before.  My hate was still profound and lasting and I accepted it willingly.

Now that we are grown my one true enemy has somehow turned into the one thing I’ve always longed for; my equal.  It took me a long time to recognize my hate for what it truly was; a childhood fear of rejection that had been allowed to fester and putrefy.  Sometimes I think I still hate him even now, but the reasons behind that hate are so vastly different than anything from my youth.  When he leans against me and whispers in my ear I feel accepted. I feel as if my wrongs are somehow absolved, merely by standing in his light. He makes me less of a monster and more of a man, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

When we are older my equal will be known simply as mine.  The love I never wanted, the final piece that makes my puzzle finished; complete.  I will die with the knowledge that I’ve accomplished the one thing that I’ve always striven for. 

Love.


End file.
